What an Intention Really Is (And What It’s Not)
Many of us were taught that growth looks like “fixing” ourselves.
Be better.
Do more.
Try harder.
So when we hear the word intention, it’s easy to assume it’s just another goal in softer clothing. Another thing to get right. Yet another way to feel behind.
But that’s not what an intention is at all.
An intention isn’t a demand for your future self.
It’s a relationship you build with your present one.
And that difference changes everything.
An Intention Is Not a Goal (Even Though They Get Confused)
Let’s compare the two.
| Goals | Intentions |
|---|---|
| Focus on outcomes | Focus on direction |
| Live in the future | Live in the present |
| Ask “Did I succeed?” | Ask “How do I want to show up?” |
| Measure progress | Guide behavior |
| Often driven by pressure | Often rooted in values |
A goal says, “I will lose 10 pounds.”
An intention says, “I choose to care for my body with respect.”
Can you feel the difference? It’s not that you won’t work towards losing ten pounds. But your focus is on treating your body with respect today, moving it, eating properly. And if you make a “mistake”? You don’t give up because you still want to care for your body.
An Intention Is a Way of Being
An intention answers a quieter question:
Who do I want to be while I live my life?
Not someday.
Not after everything is fixed.
Today.
You can carry an intention into folding laundry, answering emails, caring for aging parents, or sitting alone with a cup of coffee, wondering when it became so hard to hear yourself think.
“Intentions create our reality.” Wayne Dyer
Not because they magically erase struggle — but because they change how we meet it.
An Intention Is Not a Promise to Be Perfect
An intention does not mean:
- You’ll never mess up
- You’ll always stay aligned
- You won’t have off days
- You won’t fall back into old habits
If that were true, intentions would just be another trap.
An intention isn’t broken when you drift. It’s even more useful now, when you notice — and return.
That return is the practice.
An Intention Is a Compass, Not a Checklist
Checklists feel productive, but they don’t always feel kind.
An intention works more like a compass you glance at throughout the day:
- Am I moving toward calm or away from it?
- Does this choice honor my energy?
- Is this coming from fear — or from trust?
There’s no gold star at the end of the day. Just awareness. And choice.
“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” Thich Nhat Hanh
Intentions train attentiveness.
Why Intentions Feel So Different for Women
Many women reach adulthood fluent in meeting expectations — but out of practice listening to their heart.
We’re praised for being:
- Helpful
- Flexible
- Selfless
- Capable
Intentions quietly shift the center of gravity back to our hearts.
They ask:
- What do I need?
- What matters to me today?
- What pace feels honest in this season?
This isn’t selfish.
It’s stabilizing.
And stability is what allows real change to last.
A Simple Way to Begin (Without Overthinking It)
You don’t need a perfectly worded sentence.
You can start with:
- Today, I choose to move gently.
- Today, I choose presence over pressure.
- Today, I choose honesty with myself.
If it feels true in your body, it’s enough.
You can refine later.
Here are the 3 P’s of setting intentions.
- Write intentions in present tense — it anchors them in now.
- Make intentions deeply personal — it’s about you, and your thoughts, actions, and feelings.
- Make it positive (rather than negative) — focus it on what action or feeling you want, rather than what you want to avoid.
